This is the second article I’ve written on forgiveness recently It’s such an important topic, I thought it worthy of revisiting! There are many BENEFITS of forgiving (click here to see my previous article). There are so many DISADVANTAGES when you don’t forgive. Here are just a few:
Unforgiveness limits your options – No one can make the wisest of choices when their decision making process is clouded by anger, hurt, resentment and a desire for revenge. Not only will you make decisions that are high on emotion and low on logic, you will also be dragging the wrong kind of energy with you into your new actions. Give yourself the chance to experience your best life by approaching everything with a spirit of love and acceptance. When you are open to receiving love, you will find it in unexpected places AND people and acceptance, and help, support and exciting new opportunities will begin to show up for you. The best way to embrace your future is to forgive whatever is keeping you stuck the past.
Unforgiveness prevents you from addressing the real emotion – When you don’t want to forgive, it’s usually because you are deeply angry. Anger though, is usually the surface emotion for feeling hurt or scared underneath. The tricky thing about anger is that it allows you to stay focused on the other person and justify your emotions based on your perception of what they did If you want to forgive someone, try suspending judgment about who they are as a person and why you have the right to be angry. Instead, take a deep breath and get real with yourself about what you are truly feeling. This can be quite challenging but if you can uncover what your emotional part in the situation is, you may find that forgiveness won’t be quite as difficult as you thought.
Unforgiveness renders you powerless and stuck – Harboring unforgiveness ironically, is something that may make you feel like you have the power and are in control ( my unforgiveness makes you suffer, right?) but it is ultimately, controlling you. The more you spend time reliving the “story” of why so and so doesn’t deserve to be forgiven, the more you erode your own daily power. Do this often enough and you will eventually live in a cycle of loss of control and not even realize it. Anger, bitterness and resentment will be the order of the day, every day. By choosing to forgive, however, you reclaim your power and your ability to create a positive result from a not so positive experience. It’s going to be difficult to experience any kind of freedom as long as you continue to throw your power away to the controlling monster of deep seated rage. Set yourself free from the chains and choose empowerment.
Forgive Yourself – Lastly, you may want to consider forgiving yourself. For the true healing to begin, examine things from all sides and see where maybe, just maybe, you had some part in what transpired. If you truly did nothing to contribute to the situation (and this does happen!) you may still need to forgive yourself for being helpless in the situation and/or for choosing your course of action in the moment. Accept the fact that you did the best you could, at that moment, with the knowledge and beliefs that you had and then let it go. As the quote says, “To err is human; to forgive divine”. Choose the divine and let forgiveness bring you freedom.
© MarBeth Dunn, June 2012
This updated reprint of my old blog seems so apropo in these “interesting times”… There’s a Chinese proverb that says, “May you live in interesting times.” To say that there are plenty of people who are wishing the times weren’t quite so interesting is an understatement! “Interesting” is a term that for so many people means fear, and this saddens me, as fear prevents you from living your best life. Detaching from fear allows you to step into your “bigger self” into a place of love, and that’s going to benefit both you and other people. I’ve come up with a few ways you can stop the fear, start experiencing love and start living life from your “bigger self” perspective.
Tap into LOVE – Do you label fear as something bad? Fear is an indicator that you are not feeling love. Notice what you’re feeling without any judgment, and gently shift your focus to thoughts of love. What can you do to give unconditional love to someone else? What can you do to experience more love yourself? When you are in a place of love, fear doesn’t exist. You can tap into love whenever you have a loving thought, or a thought of appreciation. The more loving thoughts, the higher your vibration will be. Ask yourself, “How can I experience more love in my life?” and let the answers flow into your mind. Deliberately choose thoughts of love, gratitude and appreciation whenever possible.
Create a new story – Do you tell yourself the same old fear based stories out of habit? “I’m not good enough to do this,“This never turns out well,” and “I always get hurt” are common mantras that keep you steeped in fear and prevent you from moving forward. Ask yourself, “What if it’s not true? What if I could simply change my thoughts to create a different outcome? How would I like it to look?” You’ve programmed yourself to believe the old story based on fear, and it’s keeping you small and contracted. You are a powerful being, with the ability to choose a new story with a different outcome. Tac, kle the old beliefs one by one and recreate your life.
Focus on the positive – Fear is a thought pattern that arises from feeling lack. Lack of power, lack of self esteem, and lack of self worth often engender a fear of being exposed to others. Get quiet, breathe deeply, and imagine yourself expanding in size until you are bigger than the universe. From this larger perspective, imagine you are filled with a pure, golden light of pure love, and that you feel good about yourself. Make a list of 10 positive things that you appreciate about yourself. Keep the list handy and read it often.
Fear keeps you vibrating at a very low level. Let your intention always be to keep as high a vibration as possible. Remember, when you’re vibrating at a higher level, magic starts to happen. Letting go of fear is one of the best things you can do for yourself and the world because your bigger self steps up, and you become the light you were born to be. In the absence of fear and in the presence of your bigger self, you’ll find empowerment and the courage to follow your intuition. This means you’re now living the authentic life you’re here to live. By being your highest, most loving self, other people will be influenced to live more authentically. Release judgment, tap into love, create a new story and shift your perspective, so nothing will stop you from stepping out in a big way. Your world is waiting!
© 2012 MarBeth Dunn and Destination Empowerment Inc
Money, money, MONEY!! We think about it, dream about it, worry about it and plan for it. It is the topic we can’t seem to get enough of and it is the subject that can quickly bring up a lot of emotion. Although much has been written about manifesting money, the secret is, there really isn’t much of a secret about how to do it. Following these core principles will manifest all the money you want and need BUT most people fail to act on these principles consistently, with enthusiasm. I’ve outlined three steps to manifesting money and if you commit to putting these into practice, you will see a difference in your money situation!
1. WHY – Know why you want the money and set clear intentions –don’t fall prey to generalities like these: “I want a lot of money”, “I’d have a great life with more money”That’s not specific enough. It’s important to realize that it’s not the money you really want; after all, money is just dirty paper. You must access the feeling of what the money will bring you. For example, do you want to travel? Then FEEL the feeling of excitement and wonder at discovering and experiencing new places. Dreaming of that beautiful home so you can entertain? Then FEEL the feeling of community and connection that the beautiful home will bring. Do you see the difference? Be specific about what you want the money to do for you or for the people in your life. Set your intentions with complete clarity and commit to them. I’ve noticed that most people fall into the trap of being passionate about manifesting money on days where they are “feeling it” and then lose enthusiasm depending on their circumstances or mood. As long as you are unclear and uncommitted, your money will also be. Money is energy like everything else, and what you put out is what you’ll get back.
2. VISUALIZE – Create a movie in your mind that you love playing over and over – Clearly visualize what you want and then paint that picture vividly in your mind. Clarity and specificity are two big reasons that money starts to manifest so spend some time visualizing what it is you want. Think of the house built for entertaining. How many rooms does it have? What does the outside look like, how big is the kitchen, does it have a pool? Create something so clear and precise in your mind that you can pull it up, exactly like a scene from your favorite movie, any time you want. Spend at least fifteen minutes a day meditating on that visual so that you can really SEE and FEEL yourself living in the movie in your head.
3. ACT “AS IF” – this one can be a bit tricky for people. One of the fastest ways to manifest money is to act as if it’s already yours, or in other words, act as if you are already living the life that your money will provide. You may not be able to run out and buy the big, entertaining home right this moment but what you can do is act as if it’s very near. What would someone who is going to buy that home in the very near future do? They might start cleaning out their current home, throwing things away that no longer serve them, organizing paper work (because someone who can afford that kind of home is also looking to hire a personal assistant) and improving their wardrobe so they have appropriate attire to wear for all their guests. The question to ask yourself at any stage is, “What would someone who (makes a million dollars/owns a large home and entertains frequently/is super fit and healthy) do at this moment in this situation?” This is acting “as if” and when you do this, you are aligning your internal beliefs with your external actions. This creates vibrational harmony and the energy you are putting out starts matching what you are drawing back in.
Manifesting money is simple, yet most people don’t or won’t take the time and the discipline to follow these steps every day with passion and dedication. But you are ready to start doing that now, aren’t you? These 3 secrets will help jump start your money magnetism. Remember, your money is out there waiting to find you!
© 2012 MarBeth Dunn
Tapping into your intuition can be one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself, yet, how often do you get get stuck in your head, believing that logic could not possibly lead you astray? Although thinking things through rationally and logically is an effective strategy, science has proven that our intuition, those “gut feelings” we all have, can be incredibly accurate compasses when you are trying to decide what to do in your life and business. If you would like to start living more powerfully, you’ll want to trust your intuition more, and that means getting to the heart of the matter…going into your “heart space to access your intuition”.
Ask and Wait – Getting into your heart space means learning how to hear what your heart and spirit are saying to you. It also means being comfortable to trust your intuition rather than just logic. And, just how exactly do you do that? By asking and waiting – The easiest way to access your intuition is to start asking questions and waiting expectantly for the answers. It’s amazing what your mind, body and spirit will tell you when you get quiet long enough to hear their feedback. Not sure which direction to take in your career? Can’t decide whether or not to end a relationship? Wondering if you should take that leap of faith and do X? Ask yourself these questions and sit quietly trusting you will get the answers. Your answers may not come immediately. Just wait expectantly and it will come. The more you do this, the more you will become accustomed to what this feels like, and you’ll start to trust your intuition more. You’ll also notice that the answers start to come more quickly and easily.
Travel light – when you are in your heart space, you should feel “light”. If you’re feeling any heaviness or density at all around your heart, you can be certain you’ve got left over baggage. Your heart space, when “healthy”, will feel like a comfortable place to be, and that’s because it’s where we connect to Source /God / The Universe. If you’re experiencing any heaviness or density, feelings of hurt, pain, anger or bitterness might be taking up residence in your heart space. These unresolved feelings can interfere with your ability to get answers. When your heart space of light and wisdom is crowded by uncomfortable emotions, don’t repress them or push them away. Start to love and accept them, so you can truly rely on your intuition when you need it. Staying in a place of constant gratitude and appreciation is also important to get answers quickly and you’ll have the confidence you need to access your intuition.
Trust the bizarre – one of the most interesting things about making intuitive decisions is that very frequently, they don’t make a lot of sense! Logic tells us that everything should line up, make sense on paper and be rational and easily understood. But intuition moves faster than that and it’s not uncommon for “gut decisions” to be more on target than “thinking” ones. It is our subconscious processes that enable us to make solid decisions that in the moment may sound a little sketchy. Think of a time when you just got a gut feeling that you had to call a friend, even if you hadn’t heard from that friend in a while. Or have you ever turned down something that looked good on paper or accepted an offer than in the logical realm seemed to maybe not be such a great deal? We pull in so much more information than we realize and although our minds can’t keep up with it all, our heart space can.
Developing your intuition is incredibly powerful and the more you start to tap into it, the more you will find you rely on it. Take some time to get into your heart space today and see for yourself!
© 2012 MarBeth Dunn
There is such an infinite variety of meditations, that a person could get lost. You can meditate on a candle, on a mantra, on your breath, a photo, your third eye or your naval, or any combination thereof. You can listen to a prerecorded guided visualization meditation, or meditate while walking, or communing with nature. The techniques can be simple or complex, yet they are all designed to quiet your mind, elevate your consciousness, and connect you with your internal guidance system, and they offer additional benefits as well. What is important to note, is that meditation in general, and the discipline of making it an everyday practice, has been proven over and over to have significant physical, emotional, spiritual and mental benefits, and when practiced correctly, it can provide powerful results. These benefits can have a profound impact on your overall well-being.
Physical Benefits of Meditation– Often, we get “centered” in meditation by focusing on a specific area of the body for a set amount of time. Studies have shown that when the mind is solely focused on just one part of the body, blood flow increases to that region of the body, and cells receive more oxygen and an abundance of nutrients. Healthier cells mean a strengthened immune system, and a healthier immune system means an overall healthier you. This focus on the body also allows the muscles to relax, which can lead to things such as better or more restful sleep and feeling more energetic. As you become more aware of, and appreciative of your body, you become more in sync with it and treat it more conscientiously. This mind/body connection improves your physical health.
Spiritual & Emotional Benefits– Meditation is a way of getting still and connecting with your inner self and the Divine. More often than not, you may have the answers to all of your questions but the daily hustle of your busy lives frequently drowns that information out. When you are able to get quiet enough to hear what your higher self is trying to tell you, things can become clear very quickly.
Meditation will also allow you to see things from a different perspective, which can bring about a renewed confidence or calm; a feeling of “I can do this” and that whatever you are experiencing is manageable. As your awareness is heightened, you begin to see things from your “Divine” Self, which always has your highest and greatest good as a top priority. You may still have questions but the answers will start to come.
Mental Benefits of Meditation– Ever feel like you’re just not performing at your peak level? A good meditation session will probably cure that. Meditating has been shown to increase focus, concentration and clarity and additionally, unleash deep seated creativity. With meditation, you will probably be able to resume tasks with a renewed sense of vigor that had you feeling completely burned out, and creative projects that had you feeling stuck will suddenly begin to create themselves. Since meditation reduces anxiety and stress and increases peace of mind, you’ll be able to perform in a higher and more productive state than you would without taking the time to meditate. In fact, one of the best things you can do when you are feeling “stuck” with any kind of work project, is to let it go and take a few minutes to meditate. The simple act of walking away from the work and connecting with you can make the difference between a project that feels like forced action and one where the action is simply inspired.
The next time you are feeling overburdened, whether it’s physical, emotional or mental, make a conscious effort to stop what you are doing and find a quiet place where you can just be. Just ten minutes or so of mediation can make a big difference in your next twenty-four hours. Any way you do that math, that’s a great return on investment!
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At some point, it happens to all of us. No one makes it through life without being hurt, betrayed or disappointed so badly that the act of forgiveness seems impossible. If you’ve been there, you know how this feels. There’s something insidiously delightful about hanging on to feelings of bitterness and rage, probably because deep down, you’re hoping this person who is the object of your anger, will feel the same feelings of devastation that you do. However, to quote Nelson Mandela, “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” Although it may feel as if forgiveness will benefit the very person you feel doesn’t deserve to be forgiven, the act of forgiveness is always, most importantly, for you.
It’s important to understand what forgiveness is, and what it’s not. Forgiveness is not excusing the act or behavior that hurt you, nor is it saying that what happened was okay. It’s also not a “get out of jail free” card that implies that the other person shouldn’t be held responsible for what they did. It doesn’t minimize or justify the wrong, and it certainly doesn’t mean, “I’d be okay having a relationship with you” if that’s not the case. Forgiveness is letting go of the feelings that are keeping you from moving forward and are preventing you from being happy in your own life. By not forgiving, it’s tempting to think that you are controlling the situation because you’re choosing to hang onto the destructive feelings that you now have. In reality though, as long as you don’t forgive, you aren’t controlling anything; it’s controlling you. You’ll never experience freedom until you truly can forgive.
So how can you begin the process of forgiving?
First, realize that your rage isn’t affecting the other person one bit. Once you realize that, the first step towards forgiving may become a bit easier. In a highly charged emotional state, fantasies that the person who wronged you is, right this minute, miserable and experiencing all sorts of calamities due to the force of your feelings, are easy to believe. Nothing could be further from the truth. That person is just going about their life, whereas you are the one who is miserable. Raging and hating aren’t hurting the other person but it is hurting you. If you want to make your life happier, take complete responsibility for YOU and let go of your feelings.
Next, find the proverbial silver lining and see what good came from the situation. Although this may be difficult at first, is it possible that you have been released or re-directed in a way that only could have come about as a result of this? If not, what good can you create now from what happened?
Finally, stop telling the story. Neuro-science continues to prove that when we have the same thoughts over and over again, it creates a path in the brain and the stronger the path, the easier it is to “go there”. It’s not going to change anything to keep reliving the situation, and in a time where you most likely need people around you for support, telling the story over and over again can become a wearying event for your supporters. Don’t get stuck in your story or it will become very difficult to craft a new one for the future.
Forgiveness, if you are brave enough to execute it, also has very real benefits. People who forgive have less anxiety and stress, lower blood pressure, lower alcohol and substance abuse and improved sleep quality. In addition to these physical benefits, people who forgive also tend to have healthier relationships in general, have happier lives and are able to fully enjoy the present, since they are not stuck in the past.
Forgiveness is really about letting go; letting go of the hope, dreams and plans you had, which may not be possible any longer as a result of the betrayal or hurt you experienced. Nature abhors a vacuum though, and letting go will create space for new, good things to start showing up. Don’t miss what could be and the chance to have new, happy experiences. Nothing could be sadder than these passing you by because you can’t let go. Forgive and let good come to you.
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Did you die a traumatic death in a past life? You may still be feeling it’s impact today.
Have you ever just met someone and felt as though you’ve been friends forever? Or visited a place for the first time, yet you knew it?
Think of your different lifetimes as roles you play in a theater production. The eternal, spiritual self costumes up for the current role and the play begins. Yet previous lifetime roles can often interfere with the current scene.
Every area of your life can be affected by your previous lives. If you drowned in a past life, you may still feel it’s impact in your day to day existence, as you avoid being near the water. You will repeat the cycle until you finally release it and learn its significance or inherent lessons.
That pain in your shoulder may be the result of being lanced in the 12th century. Your fear of heights may be the result of a fall off a cliff. A difficult relationship may be a rerun from a previous life or lives.
Your current money issues may stem from the vow of poverty you took as a monk. Your fear of spiders may relate to a death by spider bite. The possibilities are endless. One segment of my 5 Step Miracle Breakthrough Technology addresses past life issues as they influence current life situations. I’ve seen many fascinating cases where issues that were directly related to past life events were easily resolved once we discovered their source and cleared it.
‘Tanya’ felt guilty about spending time with her son. She knew he needed her, but she was either too tired for him, or was distracted by something else. I intuited that her son, in a previous lifetime, had been her little daughter who had drowned. The pain and guilt that she carried over to this life were so over-whelming that she was not comfortable spending time with her son. After we cleared this past life issue, she was immediately able to be present with him. They now have a very close relationship.
Learn how to clear old past life issues affecting your relationships, health, finances, and more in my new FREE guide. Grab your copy now!
Remember when you were small without any filters? You were like a little sponge, absorbing your family’s values, their beliefs, and their thought patterns. You learned from your siblings. You learned from your teachers, from TV, from church, your friends, and your community. You acquired many, many beliefs that don’t serve you any longer.
The weird and frustrating issue with these beliefs is that they tend to serve as transparent lenses, or filters through which you view your world, so you don’t see them. You were probably not aware of them until I mentioned them.
When you look through a filter that says, “money doesn’t grow on trees,” or “good things don’t happen to people like me,” or “I’m just not good with money,” or “women aren’t successful,” your outer world creates what you believe. You will find yourself short of cash, unable to make ends meet. Unfortunately, you will work hard and struggle to make money, not realizing it’s an inside job.
Since you’ve always looked at life through these lenses, you have no other reference point. And the irony is that when you see things through these transparent filters, they become your truth…your reality… the only way things can be. These beliefs are insidious… silent… hidden… and they can keep you completely stuck.
Henry Ford famously said, “If you believe you can, you can. If you believe you can’t, you can’t.” It’s really that simple.
When you release your old self-sabotaging beliefs and replace them with new, positive affirmations, miracles can occur! Here’s what one of my clients experienced:
“I increased my client load and my income. I began to attract clients at a level that was unprecedented and unparalleled, with multiple thousand dollar contracts and opportunities for speaking that showed up out of the blue.”
Mission Based Branding
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When you feel stuck, it’s generally because your energy is stuck. You are energy, and your body is composed of millions of atoms containing subatomic particles? Between these particles lie vast expanses of space. If you could actually condense all this matter in your body, it would fit nicely into an apple seed. Wowza!
And that’s not all! Besides your physical body, you have subtle bodies, transparent overlays that connect interdimensionally with your physical body.
When everything is in alignment, healthy emotions flow freely in and out through your subtle bodies like clouds. But when emotional issues are troubling you, they can congeal in your emotional body and create congestion that stops or greatly reduces the energy flow. This can keep you stuck in your relationships, finances or health.
In addition, your subtle bodies are filled with meridians and chakras or energy centers. Energy can get stuck here from past traumas. As if that isn’t enough, because your energy fields overlap with those of other people, you may be carrying energetic baggage that’s not yours.
Some people, like me and some of my clients, are empaths, extremely sensitive to the energies of others. Empaths feel other people’s emotions and energy blockages in our own bodies. I had no idea I was an empath for most of my life. I thought there was something seriously wrong with me. I could not go to a party without being “zapped” by other people’s energy. I did not realize what an amazing gift I had that could help others.
Empaths can feel especially vulnerable and believe that the world is not safe. You may also feel exhausted and drained when you are around specific people. And, because empaths are not born with a handbook, it can be difficult to figure things out for yourself.
There also can often an energetic connection between narcissists and empaths, who often find themselves puzzled, wondering why they are repeating the same relationships over and over again.
Lila, a warm hearted therapist, has devoted herself for years to serving others. She came to see me because of uncomfortable sensations she was experiencing in her body. As we explored an energetic connection she shared with her mother, she realized spontaneously that she had taken on her mother’s guilt and shame over a life or death emergency abortion her mother had had when Lila was a baby. Her mother had never told her about the abortion. It was a secret shared only with the doctor, her husband and her mother. When asked, her mother confirmed that it had, indeed taken place. Lila had been carrying her mother’s guilt and shame for over fifty years. Once she was aware of the cause, and we released it, all her uncomfortable issues disappeared.
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Everyone experiences loss. It’s a natural part of life. The death of a loved one, a crippling accident, or the breakup of a significant relationship can shake you to your core. These events can be excruciating to deal with, and many people DON’T deal with them, hoping things will get better with time.
Sadly, that is often not the case. As a result, you may feel a persistent sadness, or a “knowing” that things are not quite right.
Then there are hidden losses. Something happened and you went on with your life and never dealt with it. You just kept going. You may not have even realized at the time how big it was. Yet, when you think about it, on occasion, you might feel a twinge of sadness, or pain, or regret for what might have been. It may have been the loss of your health, youth, beauty, sexiness, or lifestyle losses from a health crisis or financial disaster.
Losses block the energy flow in your life and you will hold them in your energetic field until they are released. You may feel them as a heaviness in your chest or a lump or congestion in your throat.
Unhealed loss can affect your relationships, your health, your cash flow; even your self esteem may plummet! Your emotions around a painful divorce or breakup may create a downhill spiral of apparent bad luck, financial disaster, and inability to move forward in a loving relationship. This need not be.
I came to MarBeth after I had just lost my mother and my job in the same week. I was terrified that I would be unable to find work or to support myself. I do not worry about this any more. I am able to see the positive in life and not the negative. I feel in control of my universe. I also feel an inner calm that I have not ever experienced before.
Josi Hausner, Sales Representative, New York
Create a happier life by understanding what might may be blocking it. Grab my new FREE guide and learn whether losses have been holding you back and what to do about it.