The Truth About Thanksgiving…

 

 

I have fond memories of family Thanksgivings with friends over the years, and while this year we’re encouraged to stay home and stay small, there is still reason to acknowledge and appreciate life’s blessings.

Gratitude is an easy way to shift into a positive mindset. It’s one of the very highest of emotions, akin to love. Good things happen automatically when you take the time to count your blessings and think about all the positives in your life.

It’s been scientifically proven in many studies that gratitude…

  • Can improve your health
  • Can improve your finances
  • Can improve your relationships
  • Can improve your career
  • Can increase your happiness
  • Can make you feel good
  • Can decrease pain
  • Can reduce bad health symptoms
  • Can increase time spent exercising.
  • Can increase sleep quality.
  • Can lower blood pressure.
  • Can increase your energy

Just writing in a gratitude journal 5 minutes a day can increase your long-term well being 10%. That is significant and something you can do at home, even during a pandemic! Gratitude triggers a positive feedback loop – it makes  you feel better, so you feel more gratitude, which makes you feel even better!

Because the benefits of gratitude accrue over time, it’s best to make it a daily practice or ritual to reap even greater rewards.

There are always blessings, even in the midst of a pandemic, even when you are in quarantine, even when money seems scarce.

Celebrate Thanksgiving daily, and watch your blessings grow!

 

 

© 2020 MarBeth Dunn

3 Secrets to Manifestation and the Law of Attraction

Want more money? Love? The “Law of Attraction” offers that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. It is something most of us have heard of, yet may have some uncertainty about how it works or how to use it. Here’s a quick synopsis…

1.  Take Inspired Action: One of the misconceptions about the Law of Attraction is that sitting around and thinking about what you want will make it happen.  It doesn’t work that way.  You must be clear about what you want, and then develop a certain, positive energy around it.  Let’s say that you want to go a Mediterranean cruise. You make your intention clear; this is what you want with certainty.  Next, you create positive energy around this desire, which will open you to possibilities and opportunities that are in alignment with making this happen.  Then, act on what seems natural and what feels right.  That’s when you’ll notice magic starting to happen, and things start “conspiring” to help you realize your goal.  As you stay open to saying “yes” and take action steps that are “inspired”, your ultimate desire begins to manifest itself.  This inspired action is the Law of Attraction at work. On the other hand, lack of clarity and a belief that, “it will never happen”, puts out energy that will keep you energetically closed and out of an abundance mindset.  When this happens, you may be motivated to work hard to make that cruise happen but it will be difficult because you aren’t attracting anything, you are just chasing it down.  When you engage in inspired action, you trust that everything you need will come to you.

2. Get into vibrational alignment: Most everything we want in life is about the FEELING that comes from having that thing, rather than the thing itself.  We don’t want the car, we want the feeling that we get when we own and drive it.  When you start living “as if”, as if you already have or are doing what you want, you create a vibration that starts attracting what you want and you begin to look for proof that it already exists.  This creates an openness and willingness to see things in a new light, and you begin to trust your inner guidance and do things you may not normally do, and notice things you normally wouldn’t.  Everything really is energy so what you put out, you’ll get back.  Vibrating at a “higher level” or feeling as if what you want already exists, will allow you to attract those very things.  If you’ve read anything by Jerry and Esther Hicks, then you are familiar with Abraham.  Here is how he puts it: “As you imagine and visualize and verbalize your new story, in time you will believe the new story, and when that happens, the evidence will flow swiftly into your experience. A belief is only a thought you continue to think; and when your beliefs match your desires, then your desires must become your reality.” When your beliefs and desires are in alignment, reality isn’t far behind.

3. Get happy and everything else will fall into place – One of the biggest mistakes people make is thinking they will be happy “when”.  When they get the job, partner, car, vacation, house etc, then they will be happy.  Studies have shown though, that people aren’t happy because they are successful, they are successful because they are happy!  When you are happy, you’re vibrating at a higher level and when that happens, you start attracting more of what you want because you are more of what you want.  You are feeling what you want to be feeling, regardless of your current circumstances.  It’s this combination of feeling and vibrating that higher level energy that will give you alignment and when you have alignment, you start taking inspired action rather than motivated action.  This enables you to start attracting what you want because you are in a constant state of joyfully receiving, which not coincidentally, attracts more of the same.

Staying happy, in alignment and taking inspired action all work together to bring or attract more of what you want in life.  When you learn how to do all three simultaneously, things can’t help but change for the better.  You can live the life you’ve always wanted to have!

© MarBeth Dunn 2020

The Gift of Goodbye…

It happens.  Relationships end. There’s something so raw about feeling  abandoned; left behind to endure the world while someone you love has moved on.  No matter how it happens, when people leave us, it is usually a time of licking your wounds of sorrow, sadness and often anger.  Endings can also stir up memories of past losses, that trigger older emotional issues.

So here’s my question….What if you could embrace your loss as part of a bigger picture?  You might still need to grieve.  Yet what if you could move through the grief process more quickly and even see it as a kind of gift in the grander scheme of things?

One of the most valuable gifts loss offers is the opportunity for growth.  Have you noticed that in every kind of loss, there is often a lesson that you needed to learn, and perhaps even a silver lining?  It may take a while before you can see it. You may need to explore your memories to shed some light on the hows and whys of your current situation.  If you’ve ever experienced a break-up or fractured relationship, one of the most beneficial lessons is to examine the part you played.  A relationship, by its very definition, includes more than one person (except, of course, the relationship you have with yourself).  Looking at the loss of the relationship through a different lens gives you the chance to see how certain behaviors, thoughts or patterns were part of how the relationship evolved, was sustained and eventually ended.  To be clear, sometimes people just do unkind things so this isn’t about blaming yourself.  After all, you can’t control what anyone else does.  But what you can do is look at how you contributed to create the dynamic of the relationship.  Maybe you could have set better boundaries, or had more self-love, which would have given you more confidence.  Maybe you realize that you want to appreciate and live in the moment more in your next relationship. There are real lessons in there and the more willing you are to view loss as a hidden gift, the better chance you will have of healing and of also creating a different path for yourself in the future.

Losing people always feels premature: no matter the circumstances, we all want just a little more time.  And, what if all the relationships in your life had a predetermined contract to create exactly what occurred?  Imagine that, in some other place and time, two souls came together and decided that they would experience each other in some kind of finite way, and that when all was said and done, they would live and love in the memory of what they had?  From this perspective, all endings would be in perfect order because the length of the relationship had already been decided.  Loss is still loss but doesn’t this perspective feel more like poetry in motion?

Ultimately, just like everything in life, loss can provide you with a deep sense of gratitude if you can tap into a higher perspective, and see the relationship for everything it gave you rather than focusing on what you feel it took from you.  Live the loss through your heart and don’t be afraid to feel what you feel.  There’s beauty, even in loss, and when you see the beauty and recognize the lessons, joy won’t be far behind.

© 2012 MarBeth Dunn all rights reserved

 

Love Yourself First…

Have you heard me speak on the subject of self-love and self-acceptance? I am passionate about loving yourself, because I know it’s the number one rocket fuel for transformation. Yet I’ve noticed, it is often what people pay the LEAST attention to. Have you found yourself thinking, “If only 2020 were less chaotic and catastrophic, my life would be better!” Yes, I know you may wish to change your outer circumstances, yet you will have better insight, better wisdom, make better decisions and experience a better life now, if you practice complete self-love and acceptance! Let the love for yourself propel you to where you want to be.

I recently read a wonderful quote that rang very true. “Until you can embrace complete self-acceptance, something will always feel a little off in your world.” So rather than attempting to fix what’s outside of you without achieving happiness or peace of mind, why not turn your attention within and change your feelings about yourself?  If, for example, someone hurts your feelings, your initial reaction may be try to change them. The hurtful transaction can quickly become an exercise in frustration and futility if you fall into the trap of trying to make them behave differently. Yet it’s not your job to change them!

When you react from your heart, you will not be wounded by their words. Their judgments will have no emotional charge for you because you will know they aren’t an accurate reflection of who you are. From your heart and a place of self-acceptance, you will completely accept yourself, and it won’t matter to you what the other person thinks. You will know the truth!.

Create a habit of loving yourself by practicing powerful “I am” statements. You can shift your perceptions about yourself by declaring, “I am lovable”, “I am beautiful”, “I am worthy”, “I am smart” and so on. Breathe deeply, all the way down to your belly, and really listen to what you’re saying. You are a marvelous creation and you need to believe that about yourself!

Another great way to practice self-love is to do “mirror work”. Sit or stand in front of a mirror, look into your eyes, and tell yourself how lovable, wonderful, amazing, and sexy you are. If it feels too uncomfortable or unbelievable, cushion your words with, “I’m willing to… love myself, know that I’m wonderful and amazing, etc. You’ve probably been telling yourself something totally different for years, but stick with it! If you’ve convinced yourself of all the things you’re not, you can certainly convince yourself of all the things you are!

When you come to the place where you can fully and completely love and accept yourself, you will find the world a much brighter place, and you don’t have to change anyone or anything out there. The only change that matters, is the change inside of you. Let love be the fuel that inspires you to burn brightly!

© MarBeth Dunn 2012

The Consequences of Not Forgiving Someone Who Has Hurt You…

This is the second article I’ve written on forgiveness recently It’s such an important topic, I thought it worthy of revisiting!  There are many BENEFITS of forgiving (click here to see my previous article).  There are so many DISADVANTAGES when you don’t forgive.  Here are just a few:

Unforgiveness limits your options – No one can make the wisest of choices when their decision making process is clouded by anger, hurt, resentment and a desire for revenge.  Not only will you make decisions that are high on emotion and low on logic, you will also be dragging the wrong kind of energy with you into your new actions.  Give yourself the chance to experience your best life by approaching everything with a spirit of love and acceptance.  When you are open to receiving love, you will find it in unexpected places AND people and acceptance, and help, support and exciting new opportunities will begin to show up for you. The best way to embrace your future is to forgive whatever is keeping you stuck the past.

Unforgiveness prevents you from addressing the real emotion – When you don’t want to forgive, it’s usually because you are deeply angry.  Anger though, is usually the surface emotion for feeling hurt or scared underneath.  The tricky thing about anger is that it allows you to stay focused on the other person and justify your emotions based on your perception of what they did  If you want to forgive someone, try suspending judgment about who they are as a person and why you have the right to be angry.  Instead, take a deep breath and get real with yourself about what you are truly feeling.  This can be quite challenging but if you can uncover what your emotional part in the situation is, you may find that forgiveness won’t be quite as difficult as you thought.

Unforgiveness renders you powerless and stuck – Harboring unforgiveness ironically, is something that may make you feel like you have the power and are in control ( my unforgiveness makes you suffer, right?) but it is ultimately, controlling you.  The more you spend time reliving the “story” of why so and so doesn’t deserve to be forgiven, the more you erode your own daily power.  Do this often enough and you will eventually live in a cycle of loss of control and not even realize it. Anger, bitterness and resentment will be the order of the day, every day.  By choosing to forgive, however, you reclaim your power and your ability to create a positive result from a not so positive experience.  It’s going to be difficult to experience any kind of freedom as long as you continue to throw your power away to the controlling monster of deep seated rage.  Set yourself free from the chains and choose empowerment.

Forgive Yourself – Lastly, you may want to consider forgiving yourself.  For the true healing to begin, examine things from all sides and see where maybe, just maybe, you had some part in what transpired.  If you truly did nothing to contribute to the situation (and this does happen!) you may still need to forgive yourself for being helpless in the situation and/or for choosing your course of action in the moment.  Accept the fact that you did the best you could, at that moment, with the knowledge and beliefs that you had and then let it go.   As the quote says, “To err is human; to forgive divine”.  Choose the divine and let forgiveness bring you freedom.

 © MarBeth Dunn, June 2012

Is Fear Keeping you Stuck?

This updated reprint of my old blog seems so apropo in these “interesting times”… There’s a Chinese proverb that says, “May you live in interesting times.”  To say that there are plenty of people who are wishing the times weren’t quite so interesting is an understatement!  “Interesting” is a term that for so many people means fear, and this saddens me, as fear prevents you from living your best life.  Detaching from fear allows you to step into your “bigger self” into a place of love, and that’s going to benefit both you and other people. I’ve come up with a few ways you can stop the fear, start experiencing love and start living life from your “bigger self” perspective.

Tap into LOVE – Do you label fear as something bad? Fear is an indicator that you are not feeling love. Notice what you’re feeling without any judgment, and gently shift your focus to thoughts of love. What can you do to give unconditional love to someone else?  What can you do to experience more love yourself?  When you are in a place of love, fear doesn’t exist.  You can tap into love whenever you have a loving thought, or a thought of appreciation.  The more loving thoughts, the higher your vibration will be.  Ask yourself, “How can I experience more love in my life?” and let the answers flow into your mind.  Deliberately choose thoughts of love, gratitude and appreciation whenever possible.

Create a new story – Do you tell yourself the same old fear based stories out of habit? “I’m not good enough to do this,“This never turns out well,” and “I always get hurt” are common mantras that keep you steeped in fear and prevent you from moving forward. Ask yourself, “What if it’s not true? What if I could simply change my thoughts to create a different outcome? How would I like it to look?”  You’ve programmed yourself to believe the old story based on fear, and it’s keeping you small and contracted.  You are a powerful being, with the ability to choose a new story with a different outcome. Tac, kle the old beliefs one by one and recreate your life.

Focus on the positive – Fear is a thought pattern that arises from feeling lack.  Lack of power, lack of self esteem, and lack of self worth often engender a fear of being exposed to others. Get quiet, breathe deeply, and imagine yourself expanding in size until you are bigger than the universe. From this larger perspective, imagine you are filled with a pure, golden light of pure love, and that you feel good about yourself.  Make a list of 10 positive things that you appreciate about yourself. Keep the list handy and read it often.

Fear keeps you vibrating at a very low level. Let your intention always be to keep as high a vibration as possible.  Remember, when you’re vibrating at a higher level, magic starts to happen.  Letting go of fear is one of the best things you can do for yourself and the world because your bigger self steps up, and you become the light you were born to be.  In the absence of fear and in the presence of your bigger self, you’ll find empowerment and the courage to follow your intuition.  This means you’re now living the authentic life you’re here to live. By being your highest, most loving self, other people will be influenced to live more authentically. Release judgment, tap into love, create a new story and shift your perspective, so nothing will stop you from stepping out in a big way. Your world is waiting!

© 2012 MarBeth Dunn and Destination Empowerment Inc

3 Simple Secrets for Creating Money…

Money, money, MONEY!!  We think about it, dream about it, worry about it and plan for it.  It is the topic we can’t seem to get enough of and it is the subject that can quickly bring up a lot of emotion.  Although much has been written about manifesting money, the secret is, there really isn’t much of a secret about how to do it.  Following these core principles will manifest all the money you want and need BUT most people fail to act on these principles consistently, with enthusiasm.  I’ve outlined three steps to manifesting money and if you commit to putting these into practice, you will see a difference in your money situation!

1.  WHY – Know why you want the money and set clear intentions –don’t fall prey to generalities like these: “I want a lot of money”, “I’d have a great life with more money”That’s not specific enough.  It’s important to realize that it’s not the money you really want; after all, money is just dirty paper.  You must access the feeling of what the money will bring you.  For example, do you want to travel?  Then FEEL the feeling of excitement and wonder at discovering and experiencing new places.  Dreaming of that beautiful home so you can entertain?  Then FEEL the feeling of community and connection that the beautiful home will bring.  Do you see the difference?  Be specific about what you want the money to do for you or for the people in your life.  Set your intentions with complete clarity and commit to them.  I’ve noticed that most people fall into the trap of being passionate about manifesting money on days where they are “feeling it” and then lose enthusiasm depending on their circumstances or mood.  As long as you are unclear and uncommitted, your money will also be.  Money is energy like everything else, and what you put out is what you’ll get back.

2. VISUALIZE – Create a movie in your mind that you love playing over and over – Clearly visualize what you want and then paint that picture vividly in your mind.  Clarity and specificity are two big reasons that money starts to manifest so spend some time visualizing what it is you want.  Think of the house built for entertaining.  How many rooms does it have?  What does the outside look like, how big is the kitchen, does it have a pool?  Create something so clear and precise in your mind that you can pull it up, exactly like a scene from your favorite movie, any time you want.  Spend at least fifteen minutes a day meditating on that visual so that you can really SEE and FEEL yourself living in the movie in your head.

3.  ACT “AS IF” – this one can be a bit tricky for people.  One of the fastest ways to manifest money is to act as if it’s  already yours, or in other words, act as if you are already living the life that your money will provide.  You may not be able to run out and buy the big, entertaining home right this moment but what you can do is act as if it’s very near.  What would someone who is going to buy that home in the very near future do?  They might start cleaning out their current home, throwing things away that no longer serve them, organizing paper work (because someone who can afford that kind of home is also looking to hire a personal assistant) and improving their wardrobe so they have appropriate attire to wear for all their guests.  The question to ask yourself at any stage is, “What would someone who (makes a million dollars/owns a large home and entertains frequently/is super fit and healthy) do at this moment in this situation?”  This is acting “as if” and when you do this, you are aligning your internal beliefs with your external actions.  This creates vibrational harmony and the energy you are putting out starts matching what you are drawing back in.

Manifesting money is simple, yet most people don’t or won’t take the time and the discipline to follow these steps every day with passion and dedication.  But you are ready to start doing that now, aren’t you?  These 3 secrets will help jump start your money magnetism.  Remember, your money is out there waiting to find you!

© 2012 MarBeth Dunn

Get to the HEART of Developing Your Intuition…

Tapping into your intuition can be one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself,  yet, how often do you get get stuck in your head, believing  that logic could not possibly lead you astray? Although thinking things through rationally and logically is an effective strategy, science has proven that our intuition, those “gut feelings” we all have, can be incredibly accurate compasses when you are trying to decide what to do in your life and business.   If you would like to start living more powerfully, you’ll want to trust your intuition more, and that means getting to the heart of the matter…going into your “heart space to access your intuition”.

Ask and Wait –  Getting into your heart space means learning how to hear what your heart and spirit are saying to you.  It  also means being comfortable to trust your intuition rather than just logic.  And, just how exactly do you do that?  By asking and waiting – The easiest way to access your intuition is to start asking questions and waiting expectantly for the answers.  It’s amazing what your mind, body and spirit will tell you when you get quiet long enough to hear their feedback.  Not sure which direction to take in your career? Can’t decide whether or not to end a relationship?  Wondering if you should take that leap of faith and do X?  Ask yourself these questions and sit quietly trusting you will get the answers.  Your answers may not come immediately.  Just wait expectantly and it will come.  The more you do this, the more you will become accustomed to what  this feels like, and you’ll start to trust your intuition more.  You’ll also notice that the answers start to come more quickly and easily.

Travel light – when you are in your heart space, you should feel “light”.  If you’re feeling any heaviness or density at all around your heart, you can be certain you’ve got left over baggage.  Your heart space, when “healthy”, will feel like a comfortable place to be, and that’s because it’s where we connect to Source /God / The Universe.  If you’re experiencing any heaviness or density, feelings of hurt, pain, anger or bitterness might be taking up residence in your heart space.  These unresolved feelings can interfere with your ability to get answers.  When your heart space of light and wisdom is crowded by uncomfortable emotions, don’t repress them or push them away.   Start to love and accept them, so you can truly rely on your intuition when you need it.  Staying in a place of constant gratitude and appreciation is also important to get answers quickly and you’ll have the confidence you need to access your intuition.

Trust the bizarre – one of the most interesting things about making intuitive decisions is that very frequently, they don’t make a lot of sense! Logic tells us that everything should line up, make sense on paper and be rational and easily understood.  But intuition moves faster than that and it’s not uncommon for “gut decisions” to be more on target than “thinking” ones.  It is our subconscious processes  that enable us to make solid decisions that in the moment may sound a little sketchy.  Think of a time when you just got a gut feeling that you had to call a friend, even if you hadn’t heard from that friend in a while.  Or have you ever turned down something that looked good on paper or accepted an offer than in the logical realm seemed to maybe not be such a great deal?  We pull in so much more information than we realize and although our minds can’t keep up with it all, our heart space can.

Developing your intuition is incredibly powerful and the more you start to tap into it, the more you will find you rely on it.  Take some time to get into your heart space today and see for yourself!

© 2012 MarBeth Dunn

The Aummmmmm of Meditation For Beginners….

There is such an infinite variety of meditations, that a person could get lost.  You can meditate on a candle, on a mantra, on your breath, a photo, your third eye or your naval, or any combination thereof. You can listen to a prerecorded guided visualization meditation, or meditate while walking, or communing with nature.  The techniques can be simple or complex, yet they are all designed to quiet your mind, elevate your consciousness, and connect you with your internal guidance system, and they offer additional benefits as well. What is important to note, is that meditation in general, and the discipline of making it an everyday practice, has been proven over and over to have significant physical, emotional, spiritual and mental benefits, and when practiced correctly, it can provide powerful results. These benefits can have a profound impact on your overall well-being.

Physical Benefits of Meditation– Often, we get “centered” in meditation by focusing on a specific area of the body for a set amount of time.  Studies have shown that when the mind is solely focused on just one part of the body, blood flow increases to that region of the body, and cells receive more oxygen and an abundance of nutrients.  Healthier cells mean a strengthened immune system, and a healthier immune system means an overall healthier you.  This focus on the body also allows the muscles to relax, which can lead to things such as better or more restful sleep and feeling more energetic.  As you become more aware of, and appreciative of your body, you become more in sync with it and treat it more conscientiously.  This mind/body connection improves your physical health.

Spiritual & Emotional Benefits– Meditation is a way of getting still and connecting with your inner self and the Divine.  More often than not, you may have the answers to all of your questions but the daily hustle of your busy lives frequently drowns that information out.  When you are able to get quiet enough to hear what your higher self is trying to tell you, things can become clear very quickly.

Meditation will also allow you to see things from a different perspective, which can bring about a renewed confidence or calm; a feeling of “I can do this” and that whatever you are experiencing is manageable.   As your awareness is heightened, you begin to see things from your “Divine” Self, which always has your highest and greatest good as a top priority.  You may still have questions but the answers will start to come.

Mental Benefits  of Meditation– Ever feel like you’re just not performing at your peak level?  A good meditation session will probably cure that.  Meditating has been shown to increase focus, concentration and clarity and additionally, unleash deep seated creativity.  With meditation, you will probably be able to resume tasks with a renewed sense of vigor that had you feeling completely burned out, and creative projects that had you feeling stuck will suddenly begin to create themselves.  Since meditation reduces anxiety and stress and increases peace of mind, you’ll be able to perform in a higher and more productive state than you would without taking the time to meditate.  In fact, one of the best things you can do when you are feeling “stuck” with any kind of work project, is to let it go and take a few minutes to meditate.  The simple act of walking away from the work and connecting with you can make the difference between a project that feels like forced action and one where the action is simply inspired.

The next time you are feeling overburdened, whether it’s physical, emotional or mental, make a conscious effort to stop what you are doing and find a quiet place where you can just be.  Just ten minutes or so of mediation can make a big difference in your next twenty-four hours.  Any way you do that math, that’s a great return on investment!


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Oh, Sweet Release!

At some point, it happens to all of us.  No one makes it through life without being hurt, betrayed or disappointed so badly that the act of forgiveness seems impossible.  If you’ve been there, you know how this feels.  There’s something insidiously delightful about hanging on to feelings of bitterness and rage, probably because deep down, you’re hoping this person who is the object of your anger, will feel the same feelings of devastation that you do.  However, to quote Nelson Mandela, “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”   Although it may feel as if forgiveness will benefit the very person you feel doesn’t deserve to be forgiven, the act of forgiveness is always, most importantly, for you.

It’s important to understand what forgiveness is, and what it’s not.  Forgiveness is not excusing the act or behavior that hurt you,  nor is it saying that what happened was okay.  It’s also not a “get out of jail free” card that implies that the other person shouldn’t be held responsible  for what they did.  It doesn’t minimize or justify the wrong, and it certainly doesn’t mean, “I’d be okay having a relationship with you” if that’s not the case.  Forgiveness is letting go of the feelings that are keeping you from moving forward and are preventing you from being happy in your own life.  By not forgiving, it’s tempting to think that you are controlling the situation because you’re choosing to hang onto the destructive feelings that you now have.  In reality though, as long as you don’t forgive, you aren’t controlling anything; it’s controlling you.  You’ll never experience freedom until you  truly can forgive.

So how can you begin the process of forgiving?

First, realize that your rage isn’t affecting the other person one bit.  Once you realize that, the first step towards forgiving may become a bit easier.  In a highly charged emotional state, fantasies that the person who wronged you is, right this minute, miserable and experiencing all sorts of calamities due to the force of your feelings, are easy to believe.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  That person is just going about their life, whereas you are the one who is miserable.  Raging and hating aren’t hurting the other person but it is hurting you.  If you want to make your life happier, take complete responsibility for YOU and let go of your feelings.

Next, find the proverbial silver lining and see what good came from the situation.  Although this may be difficult at first, is it possible that you have been released or re-directed in a way that only could have come about as a result of this?  If not, what good can you create now from what happened?

Finally, stop telling the story.  Neuro-science continues to prove that when we have the same thoughts over and over again, it creates a path in the brain and the stronger the path, the easier it is to “go there”.   It’s not going to change anything to keep reliving the situation, and in a time where you most likely need people around you for support, telling the story over and over again can become a wearying event for your supporters.  Don’t get stuck in your story or it will become very difficult to craft a new one for the future.

Forgiveness, if you are brave enough to execute it, also has very real benefits.  People who forgive have less anxiety and stress, lower blood pressure, lower alcohol and substance abuse and improved sleep quality.  In addition to these physical benefits, people who forgive also tend to have healthier relationships in general, have happier lives and are able to fully enjoy the present, since they are not stuck in the past.

Forgiveness is really about letting go; letting go of the hope, dreams and plans you had, which may not be possible any longer as a result of the betrayal or hurt you experienced.  Nature abhors a vacuum though, and letting go will create space for new, good things to start showing up.  Don’t miss what could be and the chance to have new, happy experiences.  Nothing could be sadder than these passing you by because you can’t let go.  Forgive and let good come to you.


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