Have you ever felt sad or let down when life didn’t work out the way you planned? A job you wanted and didn’t get, a relationship that didn’t gel, or something you were excited about that never materialized?
Disappointments happen, and it can be tough to feel joy-filled when it seems as if the doors of opportunity in your life are closing around you.
There is, however, a different way to look at this. Doors often close to protect you from what’s on the other side.
It can be difficult, in the moment, to be grateful for closed doors, but the Universe has an uncanny way of protecting you from things that won’t serve your best and highest self.
It sometimes takes distance to recognize that what you thought you wanted might not have been in your best interest.
Living in the now means releasing regret over past disappointments, optimizing the opportunities presenting in your life now, and recognizing that something better is on its way.
In the big picture, if you go back and examine all those closed doors, I’ll bet you’ll notice that more often than not, not getting what you thought you wanted was the best thing that could have ever happened.
© 2013 MarBeth Dunn – All rights reserved
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It’s our light not our darkness that most frightens us.” – Marianne Williamson
Have you ever wondered what this popular quote really means? In one sense it could be restated as, “Our head cannot take us where our heart wants to go.”
Have you experienced the longest journey personally; the one from your head to your heart? The head, or more accurately, the mind, has powerful rationalization abilities. Your head will tell you it’s not safe, whereas your heart will tell you to just try. Your head will tell you that this career makes more sense, your heart will tell you the career that makes the most “sense” is the one in which you’ll be happy. Your head will tell you why you should trust someone, yet your heart may tell you they’re not right for you.
When you make head based decisions as opposed to heart based decisions, you usually pick the safe route not necessarily the right route. And that’s a real shame. Your decisions may not be popular or look the best on paper but your greatness lies in being your most powerful and authentic self and that is something only your heart knows.
How to make heart-base decisions…
- Sit quietly and place your hand over your heart.
- Bring your awareness into the warmth under your hand.
- Breathe love into your heart space for a few moments
- Ask your question and notice how it feels.
- Does it feel good? Or does it feel uncomfortable?
- Therein lies you answer, and you can trust it.
© 2020 - MarBeth Dunn - all rights reserved
Give Yourself the Gift of PEACE in the New Year!
Do you dread the holidays? The time of year filled with laughter, joy and lots of good food can be tortuous to those who have experienced loss, perhaps even more so in the midst of a pandemic. Memories well up, followed by sadness, depression, anger and emptiness. Being around lighthearted celebration can be excruciating, and with a raging pandemic, the holidays can be overwhelmingly lonely, especially if you are alone in quarantine.
I’ve lost loved ones, and I know how sad the holidays can be without them. Yet I have learned to view things from a grander perspective, and in that process I have grown and blossomed. I know things can shift for you, as well! Let this year be different (in a positive way!) Don’t be victimized by your thoughts and emotions. You are a powerful being who can make a different choice!
1. Recognize that you are bigger than any thoughts or feelings you are experiencing.
When you are feeling grief or sadness, don’t resist the feeling. Allow yourself to feel it. Where does it show up in your body? Does it make you feel contracted, small or diminished? Acknowledge it. Notice how it makes you feel, but don’t judge it in any way. In this way, you move away from emotionality into a state of neutrality. You begin to recognize that you are not the emotion. Now declare, “I am bigger than this!” Remember a time when you felt happy and joyful. Expand into the sense of love, joy and well being and feel the feeling.
2. Realize that everything you experience is an opportunity for personal growth.
The feeling of hopelessness comes from being trapped in the illusion that you can’t change your circumstances. What if you realized that everything occurring to you is part of your specific curriculum in the school of life? No one said school was easy! Rather than getting caught up in a cycle of counterproductive thoughts and emotions, look at the situation more objectively, and wonder out loud, “What can I learn from this?” or “How can I handle this differently?”
3. Remember that you have a choice, every instant, to see things differently.
Nothing is set in stone. As your thoughts and perceptions begin to change, your life will shift accordingly. When you realize that people show up in your life as your teachers and students, and that your time with them is a gift, the appropriate response is love, appreciation and gratitude for your time together! I believe that we are surrounded by unseen helpers in the form of Spirit, angels and guides. Ask them to help you see things from a different perspective, and notice how your perceptions expand and shift. In fact, the very realization that you have a choice in how you view your circumstances creates a space for thoughts and feelings to shift.
4. Give of yourself this holiday season
Give of yourself this holiday season and notice how giving makes you feel. Since giving and receiving are the same, when you give from a place of love and service, you will receive in kind. Just try it and notice what shows up in your life.
I would love to hear from you. Please let me know how these strategies work for you!
With love and blessings,
I have fond memories of family Thanksgivings with friends over the years, and while this year we’re encouraged to stay home and stay small, there is still reason to acknowledge and appreciate life’s blessings.
Gratitude is an easy way to shift into a positive mindset. It’s one of the very highest of emotions, akin to love. Good things happen automatically when you take the time to count your blessings and think about all the positives in your life.
It’s been scientifically proven in many studies that gratitude…
- Can improve your health
- Can improve your finances
- Can improve your relationships
- Can improve your career
- Can increase your happiness
- Can make you feel good
- Can decrease pain
- Can reduce bad health symptoms
- Can increase time spent exercising.
- Can increase sleep quality.
- Can lower blood pressure.
- Can increase your energy
Just writing in a gratitude journal 5 minutes a day can increase your long-term well being 10%. That is significant and something you can do at home, even during a pandemic! Gratitude triggers a positive feedback loop – it makes you feel better, so you feel more gratitude, which makes you feel even better!
Because the benefits of gratitude accrue over time, it’s best to make it a daily practice or ritual to reap even greater rewards.
There are always blessings, even in the midst of a pandemic, even when you are in quarantine, even when money seems scarce.
Celebrate Thanksgiving daily, and watch your blessings grow!
© 2020 MarBeth Dunn
Want more money? Love? The “Law of Attraction” offers that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. It is something most of us have heard of, yet may have some uncertainty about how it works or how to use it. Here’s a quick synopsis…
1. Take Inspired Action: One of the misconceptions about the Law of Attraction is that sitting around and thinking about what you want will make it happen. It doesn’t work that way. You must be clear about what you want, and then develop a certain, positive energy around it. Let’s say that you want to go a Mediterranean cruise. You make your intention clear; this is what you want with certainty. Next, you create positive energy around this desire, which will open you to possibilities and opportunities that are in alignment with making this happen. Then, act on what seems natural and what feels right. That’s when you’ll notice magic starting to happen, and things start “conspiring” to help you realize your goal. As you stay open to saying “yes” and take action steps that are “inspired”, your ultimate desire begins to manifest itself. This inspired action is the Law of Attraction at work. On the other hand, lack of clarity and a belief that, “it will never happen”, puts out energy that will keep you energetically closed and out of an abundance mindset. When this happens, you may be motivated to work hard to make that cruise happen but it will be difficult because you aren’t attracting anything, you are just chasing it down. When you engage in inspired action, you trust that everything you need will come to you.
2. Get into vibrational alignment: Most everything we want in life is about the FEELING that comes from having that thing, rather than the thing itself. We don’t want the car, we want the feeling that we get when we own and drive it. When you start living “as if”, as if you already have or are doing what you want, you create a vibration that starts attracting what you want and you begin to look for proof that it already exists. This creates an openness and willingness to see things in a new light, and you begin to trust your inner guidance and do things you may not normally do, and notice things you normally wouldn’t. Everything really is energy so what you put out, you’ll get back. Vibrating at a “higher level” or feeling as if what you want already exists, will allow you to attract those very things. If you’ve read anything by Jerry and Esther Hicks, then you are familiar with Abraham. Here is how he puts it: “As you imagine and visualize and verbalize your new story, in time you will believe the new story, and when that happens, the evidence will flow swiftly into your experience. A belief is only a thought you continue to think; and when your beliefs match your desires, then your desires must become your reality.” When your beliefs and desires are in alignment, reality isn’t far behind.
3. Get happy and everything else will fall into place – One of the biggest mistakes people make is thinking they will be happy “when”. When they get the job, partner, car, vacation, house etc, then they will be happy. Studies have shown though, that people aren’t happy because they are successful, they are successful because they are happy! When you are happy, you’re vibrating at a higher level and when that happens, you start attracting more of what you want because you are more of what you want. You are feeling what you want to be feeling, regardless of your current circumstances. It’s this combination of feeling and vibrating that higher level energy that will give you alignment and when you have alignment, you start taking inspired action rather than motivated action. This enables you to start attracting what you want because you are in a constant state of joyfully receiving, which not coincidentally, attracts more of the same.
Staying happy, in alignment and taking inspired action all work together to bring or attract more of what you want in life. When you learn how to do all three simultaneously, things can’t help but change for the better. You can live the life you’ve always wanted to have!
© MarBeth Dunn 2020
It happens. Relationships end. There’s something so raw about feeling abandoned; left behind to endure the world while someone you love has moved on. No matter how it happens, when people leave us, it is usually a time of licking your wounds of sorrow, sadness and often anger. Endings can also stir up memories of past losses, that trigger older emotional issues.
So here’s my question….What if you could embrace your loss as part of a bigger picture? You might still need to grieve. Yet what if you could move through the grief process more quickly and even see it as a kind of gift in the grander scheme of things?
One of the most valuable gifts loss offers is the opportunity for growth. Have you noticed that in every kind of loss, there is often a lesson that you needed to learn, and perhaps even a silver lining? It may take a while before you can see it. You may need to explore your memories to shed some light on the hows and whys of your current situation. If you’ve ever experienced a break-up or fractured relationship, one of the most beneficial lessons is to examine the part you played. A relationship, by its very definition, includes more than one person (except, of course, the relationship you have with yourself). Looking at the loss of the relationship through a different lens gives you the chance to see how certain behaviors, thoughts or patterns were part of how the relationship evolved, was sustained and eventually ended. To be clear, sometimes people just do unkind things so this isn’t about blaming yourself. After all, you can’t control what anyone else does. But what you can do is look at how you contributed to create the dynamic of the relationship. Maybe you could have set better boundaries, or had more self-love, which would have given you more confidence. Maybe you realize that you want to appreciate and live in the moment more in your next relationship. There are real lessons in there and the more willing you are to view loss as a hidden gift, the better chance you will have of healing and of also creating a different path for yourself in the future.
Losing people always feels premature: no matter the circumstances, we all want just a little more time. And, what if all the relationships in your life had a predetermined contract to create exactly what occurred? Imagine that, in some other place and time, two souls came together and decided that they would experience each other in some kind of finite way, and that when all was said and done, they would live and love in the memory of what they had? From this perspective, all endings would be in perfect order because the length of the relationship had already been decided. Loss is still loss but doesn’t this perspective feel more like poetry in motion?
Ultimately, just like everything in life, loss can provide you with a deep sense of gratitude if you can tap into a higher perspective, and see the relationship for everything it gave you rather than focusing on what you feel it took from you. Live the loss through your heart and don’t be afraid to feel what you feel. There’s beauty, even in loss, and when you see the beauty and recognize the lessons, joy won’t be far behind.
© 2012 MarBeth Dunn all rights reserved
Have you heard me speak on the subject of self-love and self-acceptance? I am passionate about loving yourself, because I know it’s the number one rocket fuel for transformation. Yet I’ve noticed, it is often what people pay the LEAST attention to. Have you found yourself thinking, “If only 2020 were less chaotic and catastrophic, my life would be better!” Yes, I know you may wish to change your outer circumstances, yet you will have better insight, better wisdom, make better decisions and experience a better life now, if you practice complete self-love and acceptance! Let the love for yourself propel you to where you want to be.
I recently read a wonderful quote that rang very true. “Until you can embrace complete self-acceptance, something will always feel a little off in your world.” So rather than attempting to fix what’s outside of you without achieving happiness or peace of mind, why not turn your attention within and change your feelings about yourself? If, for example, someone hurts your feelings, your initial reaction may be try to change them. The hurtful transaction can quickly become an exercise in frustration and futility if you fall into the trap of trying to make them behave differently. Yet it’s not your job to change them!
When you react from your heart, you will not be wounded by their words. Their judgments will have no emotional charge for you because you will know they aren’t an accurate reflection of who you are. From your heart and a place of self-acceptance, you will completely accept yourself, and it won’t matter to you what the other person thinks. You will know the truth!.
Create a habit of loving yourself by practicing powerful “I am” statements. You can shift your perceptions about yourself by declaring, “I am lovable”, “I am beautiful”, “I am worthy”, “I am smart” and so on. Breathe deeply, all the way down to your belly, and really listen to what you’re saying. You are a marvelous creation and you need to believe that about yourself!
Another great way to practice self-love is to do “mirror work”. Sit or stand in front of a mirror, look into your eyes, and tell yourself how lovable, wonderful, amazing, and sexy you are. If it feels too uncomfortable or unbelievable, cushion your words with, “I’m willing to… love myself, know that I’m wonderful and amazing, etc. You’ve probably been telling yourself something totally different for years, but stick with it! If you’ve convinced yourself of all the things you’re not, you can certainly convince yourself of all the things you are!
When you come to the place where you can fully and completely love and accept yourself, you will find the world a much brighter place, and you don’t have to change anyone or anything out there. The only change that matters, is the change inside of you. Let love be the fuel that inspires you to burn brightly!
© MarBeth Dunn 2012
This is the second article I’ve written on forgiveness recently It’s such an important topic, I thought it worthy of revisiting! There are many BENEFITS of forgiving (click here to see my previous article). There are so many DISADVANTAGES when you don’t forgive. Here are just a few:
Unforgiveness limits your options – No one can make the wisest of choices when their decision making process is clouded by anger, hurt, resentment and a desire for revenge. Not only will you make decisions that are high on emotion and low on logic, you will also be dragging the wrong kind of energy with you into your new actions. Give yourself the chance to experience your best life by approaching everything with a spirit of love and acceptance. When you are open to receiving love, you will find it in unexpected places AND people and acceptance, and help, support and exciting new opportunities will begin to show up for you. The best way to embrace your future is to forgive whatever is keeping you stuck the past.
Unforgiveness prevents you from addressing the real emotion – When you don’t want to forgive, it’s usually because you are deeply angry. Anger though, is usually the surface emotion for feeling hurt or scared underneath. The tricky thing about anger is that it allows you to stay focused on the other person and justify your emotions based on your perception of what they did If you want to forgive someone, try suspending judgment about who they are as a person and why you have the right to be angry. Instead, take a deep breath and get real with yourself about what you are truly feeling. This can be quite challenging but if you can uncover what your emotional part in the situation is, you may find that forgiveness won’t be quite as difficult as you thought.
Unforgiveness renders you powerless and stuck – Harboring unforgiveness ironically, is something that may make you feel like you have the power and are in control ( my unforgiveness makes you suffer, right?) but it is ultimately, controlling you. The more you spend time reliving the “story” of why so and so doesn’t deserve to be forgiven, the more you erode your own daily power. Do this often enough and you will eventually live in a cycle of loss of control and not even realize it. Anger, bitterness and resentment will be the order of the day, every day. By choosing to forgive, however, you reclaim your power and your ability to create a positive result from a not so positive experience. It’s going to be difficult to experience any kind of freedom as long as you continue to throw your power away to the controlling monster of deep seated rage. Set yourself free from the chains and choose empowerment.
Forgive Yourself – Lastly, you may want to consider forgiving yourself. For the true healing to begin, examine things from all sides and see where maybe, just maybe, you had some part in what transpired. If you truly did nothing to contribute to the situation (and this does happen!) you may still need to forgive yourself for being helpless in the situation and/or for choosing your course of action in the moment. Accept the fact that you did the best you could, at that moment, with the knowledge and beliefs that you had and then let it go. As the quote says, “To err is human; to forgive divine”. Choose the divine and let forgiveness bring you freedom.
© MarBeth Dunn, June 2012
This updated reprint of my old blog seems so apropo in these “interesting times”… There’s a Chinese proverb that says, “May you live in interesting times.” To say that there are plenty of people who are wishing the times weren’t quite so interesting is an understatement! “Interesting” is a term that for so many people means fear, and this saddens me, as fear prevents you from living your best life. Detaching from fear allows you to step into your “bigger self” into a place of love, and that’s going to benefit both you and other people. I’ve come up with a few ways you can stop the fear, start experiencing love and start living life from your “bigger self” perspective.
Tap into LOVE – Do you label fear as something bad? Fear is an indicator that you are not feeling love. Notice what you’re feeling without any judgment, and gently shift your focus to thoughts of love. What can you do to give unconditional love to someone else? What can you do to experience more love yourself? When you are in a place of love, fear doesn’t exist. You can tap into love whenever you have a loving thought, or a thought of appreciation. The more loving thoughts, the higher your vibration will be. Ask yourself, “How can I experience more love in my life?” and let the answers flow into your mind. Deliberately choose thoughts of love, gratitude and appreciation whenever possible.
Create a new story – Do you tell yourself the same old fear based stories out of habit? “I’m not good enough to do this,“This never turns out well,” and “I always get hurt” are common mantras that keep you steeped in fear and prevent you from moving forward. Ask yourself, “What if it’s not true? What if I could simply change my thoughts to create a different outcome? How would I like it to look?” You’ve programmed yourself to believe the old story based on fear, and it’s keeping you small and contracted. You are a powerful being, with the ability to choose a new story with a different outcome. Tac, kle the old beliefs one by one and recreate your life.
Focus on the positive – Fear is a thought pattern that arises from feeling lack. Lack of power, lack of self esteem, and lack of self worth often engender a fear of being exposed to others. Get quiet, breathe deeply, and imagine yourself expanding in size until you are bigger than the universe. From this larger perspective, imagine you are filled with a pure, golden light of pure love, and that you feel good about yourself. Make a list of 10 positive things that you appreciate about yourself. Keep the list handy and read it often.
Fear keeps you vibrating at a very low level. Let your intention always be to keep as high a vibration as possible. Remember, when you’re vibrating at a higher level, magic starts to happen. Letting go of fear is one of the best things you can do for yourself and the world because your bigger self steps up, and you become the light you were born to be. In the absence of fear and in the presence of your bigger self, you’ll find empowerment and the courage to follow your intuition. This means you’re now living the authentic life you’re here to live. By being your highest, most loving self, other people will be influenced to live more authentically. Release judgment, tap into love, create a new story and shift your perspective, so nothing will stop you from stepping out in a big way. Your world is waiting!
© 2012 MarBeth Dunn and Destination Empowerment Inc
Money, money, MONEY!! We think about it, dream about it, worry about it and plan for it. It is the topic we can’t seem to get enough of and it is the subject that can quickly bring up a lot of emotion. Although much has been written about manifesting money, the secret is, there really isn’t much of a secret about how to do it. Following these core principles will manifest all the money you want and need BUT most people fail to act on these principles consistently, with enthusiasm. I’ve outlined three steps to manifesting money and if you commit to putting these into practice, you will see a difference in your money situation!
1. WHY – Know why you want the money and set clear intentions –don’t fall prey to generalities like these: “I want a lot of money”, “I’d have a great life with more money”That’s not specific enough. It’s important to realize that it’s not the money you really want; after all, money is just dirty paper. You must access the feeling of what the money will bring you. For example, do you want to travel? Then FEEL the feeling of excitement and wonder at discovering and experiencing new places. Dreaming of that beautiful home so you can entertain? Then FEEL the feeling of community and connection that the beautiful home will bring. Do you see the difference? Be specific about what you want the money to do for you or for the people in your life. Set your intentions with complete clarity and commit to them. I’ve noticed that most people fall into the trap of being passionate about manifesting money on days where they are “feeling it” and then lose enthusiasm depending on their circumstances or mood. As long as you are unclear and uncommitted, your money will also be. Money is energy like everything else, and what you put out is what you’ll get back.
2. VISUALIZE – Create a movie in your mind that you love playing over and over – Clearly visualize what you want and then paint that picture vividly in your mind. Clarity and specificity are two big reasons that money starts to manifest so spend some time visualizing what it is you want. Think of the house built for entertaining. How many rooms does it have? What does the outside look like, how big is the kitchen, does it have a pool? Create something so clear and precise in your mind that you can pull it up, exactly like a scene from your favorite movie, any time you want. Spend at least fifteen minutes a day meditating on that visual so that you can really SEE and FEEL yourself living in the movie in your head.
3. ACT “AS IF” – this one can be a bit tricky for people. One of the fastest ways to manifest money is to act as if it’s already yours, or in other words, act as if you are already living the life that your money will provide. You may not be able to run out and buy the big, entertaining home right this moment but what you can do is act as if it’s very near. What would someone who is going to buy that home in the very near future do? They might start cleaning out their current home, throwing things away that no longer serve them, organizing paper work (because someone who can afford that kind of home is also looking to hire a personal assistant) and improving their wardrobe so they have appropriate attire to wear for all their guests. The question to ask yourself at any stage is, “What would someone who (makes a million dollars/owns a large home and entertains frequently/is super fit and healthy) do at this moment in this situation?” This is acting “as if” and when you do this, you are aligning your internal beliefs with your external actions. This creates vibrational harmony and the energy you are putting out starts matching what you are drawing back in.
Manifesting money is simple, yet most people don’t or won’t take the time and the discipline to follow these steps every day with passion and dedication. But you are ready to start doing that now, aren’t you? These 3 secrets will help jump start your money magnetism. Remember, your money is out there waiting to find you!
© 2012 MarBeth Dunn