“Happy talk… Keep talking happy talk. Talk about things you’d like to do…”
Remember that song from South Pacific? You couldn’t listen to it and not feel happy! Have you noticed that happy people generally do talk ‘happy talk’?
Studies have shown that not only do happy people enjoy life more, they tend to get more of what most people say would MAKE them happy. Have you noticed how certain people seem to live charmed lives? They (for the most part) always have the good jobs, loving friends, supportive family members, nice places to live and a variety of other lifestyle items that would appear to bring them happiness. “Well, of course they’re happy,” you might say to yourself. “With all of that, why wouldn’t they be happy?”
Ah, but there is the secret ingredient to creating happiness that you may not realize: Happy people aren’t happy BECAUSE they’re successful, have good relationships, and abundant lives, they are successful, have good relationships and abundant lives because they are HAPPY. Get happy first and everything else shows up. Make no mistake, happiness is a choice. It does not depend on getting a job, having more money, living in a different place. After all, wherever you go, there you are.
Every wonder what happy people have in common? Cultivate these characteristics to create more happiness in your life!
First and foremost, happy people choose to have and keep a positive attitude. They don’t dwell on the negative or constantly talk about everything that’s wrong in their lives. They are not “stuck in their story” and they focus on what’s good in their life, not on what’s bad.
Happy people live by design. They choose to stay empowered, create a plan, know where they’re going and focus on what could be, rather than what is. Don’t underestimate the power of living in the emotion of “as if”. Staying happy is all about the feeling. A new car doesn’t make you happy, the feeling the car gives you does. See the difference?
Another trait of happy people is they hang out with other happy people! It may sound unsympathetic but happy people won’t tolerate negativity, including negative people in their lives for very long. They know it will only bring them down.
Spend some time with happy people and you’ll notice they don’t stay rattled for long. They accept what is, change what they can and don’t worry or complain about what they can’t change. This means they’re not constantly fighting an uphill battle, feeling disempowered over things beyond their control. Economy? Weather? Crazy drivers? Not worth the energy. Move on.
Happy people are spiritual, have a relationship with a Higher Power. It is a deeply essential component of their lives. They trust in a greater good and have a sense that things are as they should be. This isn’t about deferring accountability or responsibility, it’s an understanding and acceptance that there is an order to things that is beyond our human understanding and that’s okay.
I have a friend whose house burned down several years ago. She was sincerely grateful that she, her husband and brand new baby made it out of the house alive, AND her wedding dress and album weren’t turned to ash (although everything else was). Did she have moments of grief and loss? Sure, but she didn’t dwell on it and didn’t walk around in depression and despair. She was truly happy that the worst possible thing didn’t happen and she still had two important mementos with meaning. It probably wouldn’t surprise you to know that for the most part, she has had, and continues to have, a very happy life. She chooses attitude, not circumstances to dictate her journey.
Happiness is the result of a deeper emotion, joy, which comes from the recesses of your heart. Feel the joy, choose happiness and watch how your life unfolds.
© 2013 MarBeth Dunn – all rights reserved