Do you dread the holidays? The time of year filled with laughter, joy and lots of good food can be tortuous to those who have experienced loss, perhaps even more so in the midst of a pandemic. Memories well up, followed by sadness, depression, anger and emptiness. Being around lighthearted celebration can be excruciating, and with a raging pandemic, the holidays can be overwhelmingly lonely, especially if you are alone in quarantine.
I’ve lost loved ones, and I know how sad the holidays can be without them. Yet I have learned to view things from a grander perspective, and in that process I have grown and blossomed. I know things can shift for you, as well! Let this year be different (in a positive way!) Don’t be victimized by your thoughts and emotions. You are a powerful being who can make a different choice!
1. Recognize that you are bigger than any thoughts or feelings you are experiencing.
When you are feeling grief or sadness, don’t resist the feeling. Allow yourself to feel it. Where does it show up in your body? Does it make you feel contracted, small or diminished? Acknowledge it. Notice how it makes you feel, but don’t judge it in any way. In this way, you move away from emotionality into a state of neutrality. You begin to recognize that you are not the emotion. Now declare, “I am bigger than this!” Remember a time when you felt happy and joyful. Expand into the sense of love, joy and well being and feel the feeling.
2. Realize that everything you experience is an opportunity for personal growth.
The feeling of hopelessness comes from being trapped in the illusion that you can’t change your circumstances. What if you realized that everything occurring to you is part of your specific curriculum in the school of life? No one said school was easy! Rather than getting caught up in a cycle of counterproductive thoughts and emotions, look at the situation more objectively, and wonder out loud, “What can I learn from this?” or “How can I handle this differently?”
3. Remember that you have a choice, every instant, to see things differently.
Nothing is set in stone. As your thoughts and perceptions begin to change, your life will shift accordingly. When you realize that people show up in your life as your teachers and students, and that your time with them is a gift, the appropriate response is love, appreciation and gratitude for your time together! I believe that we are surrounded by unseen helpers in the form of Spirit, angels and guides. Ask them to help you see things from a different perspective, and notice how your perceptions expand and shift. In fact, the very realization that you have a choice in how you view your circumstances creates a space for thoughts and feelings to shift.
4. Give of yourself this holiday season
Give of yourself this holiday season and notice how giving makes you feel. Since giving and receiving are the same, when you give from a place of love and service, you will receive in kind. Just try it and notice what shows up in your life.
I would love to hear from you. Please let me know how these strategies work for you!
With love and blessings,